Do the Right Thing

Ethics
Written By Philip Mancini

Clarity, courage, and conviction are what define your decisions, not just your intentions.

Doing the right thing isn’t easy. Sometimes, it’s not even clear what the right thing is. We’re not just talking about moral dilemmas—we’re talking about choices that shape the direction of our lives, often pitting deeply held values against personal relationships. For instance, holding a trusted friend accountable as an employee requires the principle of fairness, even if it strains that bond and creates emotional ripple effects, such as guilt or fractured trust. Conversely, enforcing the same accountability on someone you don’t have positive feelings toward might feel easier in the moment. Still, it risks perceptions of bias or inconsistency, which can erode team morale over time. Every decision has a ripple effect, with downstream consequences that can build or break integrity. And when you decide to grow, improve, or break patterns, you’ll face resistance—sometimes from the people you love most. The stakes get higher the closer you move toward change. In my years as a leadership facilitator, drawing from my CliftonStrengths® themes of Responsibility and Consistency, I've seen this firsthand: a simple choice to prioritize one decision over another can ripple into team trust, policy shifts, and even personal burnout if not handled with care. So, how do you know what to do—and how do you stay committed once you do?

Big Idea

Doing the right thing means acting in alignment with your values, regardless of the convenience or comfort it may bring. That requires more than good intentions—it requires clarity, courage, and the resolve to follow through when the pressure mounts. Right actions are often difficult ones, especially when they involve time, money, discipline, or letting go of familiar patterns. But when you’re clear on your values and willing to confront the cost, you build a life grounded in purpose, not pressure. This foundation echoes the pillars of clarity, courage, and conviction that I explore in my goal-setting framework.

Define What “Right” Means to You

You can’t act with integrity if you haven’t defined what integrity looks like. Start by clarifying your values, character strengths, and personal convictions. Tools like the CliftonStrengths® Assessment, DISC, or the Big Five can help illuminate your strengths and how you’re wired. For instance, my own CliftonStrengths® results highlight Relator, Learner, and Analytical as top themes, which have guided me to value deep relationships, continuous growth, and methodical decision-making in my roles as a leader and coach. Ultimately, the responsibility lies with you to reflect on and determine what you stand for. Try this: List three core values right now— (ex, honesty, resilience, service)—and trace how they've shown up in your past decisions. This self-reflection is the first step to discovering your ethical compass.

Right Looks Different for Everyone

What’s right for someone else may not be right for you. Values are deeply personal, and so are the decisions that reflect them. Borrowing someone else’s definition of success or fulfillment often leads to regret. In my coaching practice, I've worked with individuals aiming for a single goal—whether a prestigious job, a specific lifestyle, or external recognition—only to discover they were more passionate and focused on something entirely different. Their perception of success was based on a model that wasn’t grounded in their values and principles, leaving them unfulfilled and regretful. Learn from others, but don’t outsource your judgment. A strong internal compass will keep you aligned when outside definitions of success try to pull you off course.

Clarify the Cost Up Front

Before committing to a path, consider the real costs—your time, energy, and money. Do you have the capacity to pursue it? Are you prepared to make sacrifices to remain consistent? It’s easy to say “yes” when the goal is exciting. It’s harder to persist when the reality requires you to reprioritize, renegotiate your time, or risk disapproval. For example, early in my leadership facilitation, I committed to a workshop without thoroughly assessing the preparation demands, which led to family strain and a diluted impact. Clarifying the cost early on—perhaps through a simple pros/cons audit—gives your commitment staying power.

Expect Resistance from Others

Choosing what’s right doesn’t always feel rewarding in the short term. Friends or family may misunderstand your choices, especially if those choices disrupt the status quo. You may feel guilt, doubt, or even shame. That’s normal. But those feelings don’t mean you’re wrong. It’s evidence that you’re growing. As Stephen Covey notes in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, proactive individuals focus on their circle of influence, rather than external pressures. Drawing from my personality assessments, which show low emotionality, I've learned to view resistance as a resilience builder—channel it into honest dialogue rather than retreat. Here, my CliftonStrengths® Relator theme helps me lean into trusted relationships to navigate pushback.

 

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” —C.S. Lewis

 

Right Doesn’t Always Feel Good—But It Feels Right

Fear of failure tends to surface most when we care deeply. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be scared. Let that be confirmation you’re on the right track. The discomfort you feel is proof that your actions matter. Push through it with honesty and humility. The process will teach you more than the outcome, like in marathon training, where the pain of early miles forges the strength for the finish line.

 

Takeaway

Ask yourself:

  • What values or beliefs do I want to build my life around? Journal for 10 minutes: Rank them and note one recent action that aligned (or didn't).

  • Where am I tempted to compromise because it’s easier in the moment? Identify a current temptation and brainstorm an alternative rooted in courage.

  • What does doing the right thing look like today, even if no one notices? Make it specific—perhaps a small habit, such as offering ethical feedback in a meeting.

Being clear on the right path is only half the battle. Staying true to yourself requires self-awareness, accountability, and the possibility of disappointing others.

Doing the right thing isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a lifestyle. It requires consistency, reflection, and the courage to make hard choices even when no one else bears the cost. But that’s how growth works. It rewards the honest, the disciplined, and the resolute. Choose well. Stay the course. And don’t just believe in what’s right—do it. For more on living and leading this way, I explore these principles in greater depth in The Brief newsletter and my Substack essays.

 

Further Reading / Sources

Philip Mancini https://philipmancinijr.com
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Lead Through Better Decisions